Rebuilding
by ultimategingepond
Summary: Season Five AU. Who has Mary chosen after the Christmas Special. Can her life ever be in her own hands. Mature theme's will be present.
1. Chapter 1

**Quick authors note. These Characters do not belong to me and this is my first non Mary/ Matthew story. Please stick with me and I hope I do it justice.**

Anna's long and familiar fingers moved through her hair with the exact precision and technique they had been practicing. She hadn't been sure at first if she wanted her hair up or not on this day, in the end she opted to have each tendril wisped back; different than when she had gave her heart away to Matthew.

There was no conversation as the lady's maid helped Mary and for that she was thankful. "Can I have just a moment alone before the ceremony begins Anna? " "Of course M'Lady_,"_ Anna lingered near the door a moment before Mary could speak again. "Could you check on George for me also, make sure nanny has him resting." There were a million things she could have been thinking about at the moment but it was George who flashed in her mind. Anna smiled gently before nodding and making her way from the room, her bedroom where she wished to get ready.

The mirror in front of Mary began to shift in her mind, like a screen playing out her life since Matthew left her and George at the hospital that day. The months following felt like a black hole in her life, she hadn't been living but gliding through each day and doing what it took to care for him. It astonished her that she even was able to dig herself out of that grief, but it still lingered. Some days Matthew was still her first thoughts and other times it took time to sink in, the blue eyes on George always providing it. There had been times since when she was genuinely happy though, when the ache was replaced with a new fire but she couldn't think about those either right now; she was losing them as well.

Mary was polished now, just as breathtaking as when herself and Matthew had exchanged their vows but it felt different in a million ways. They had been so young and naïve, wasting so many years they could have spent happy. She had married for love and knew how that felt but now was for safety, for her future and George's.

Would Matthew be happy for her now? The thought was delusional at best but it was those thoughts that made her feel grounded and normal. To keep him in her memory she needed to think of how his view on things would be sometimes. There had been mornings when all they could do was enjoy their tea before tasting it on each other's lips, deep conversation following about how their days would go and various other things. It hurt to think of those days, when Matthew would divulge his thoughts and inner workings.

Cora and Violet had pulled her aside a few months ago, lines of sternness and caring etched along their features. "Mary you know you must commit already, it's not fit to be a widow your whole life." Sharp tongued as always, the Dowager dove head first into what she was there for. "I believe what your grandmother is trying to say is that for yourself and George it may be best to give in to Mr. Napier's advances and settle. He has the means to keep you satisfied and you can't be innocent to the way he looks at you. "Violet taped her cane in annoyance, cutting in. "I can speak for myself but yes he gives those sad eyes, Mary and George doesn't hate him entirely."

Warm fabric rustled along her fist as she crumbled the purple seems of her dress. Her son didn't hate entirely? What if he wasn't what she wanted though? He wasn't the man that she spent time thinking about now, the one that had come close to capturing her thoughts over Matthew. He wasn't the man that shared her like of art and remembered the type of books George enjoyed before a nap. Evelyn was nice enough and a dear friend but the prospect of spending the rest of her days was less than inspiring. She knew it was what her family wanted though and they were right about the safety of a marriage to him. "Fine." One sharp answer with an exhale of breath was all it took to hand her life over once again, just like when she had been younger.

Mary knew the moment to go downstairs was ticking closer by she needed just a few more moments to herself to think everything over. Letting go of Tony after accepting Evelyn's proposal had been easier than she imagined. His face was pained but happy as well for her as they spoke over breakfast before he was to leave for a trip to Ireland. The day felt like yesterday, each detail important to their story. Blue, she had worn blue to tell him goodbye because he had mentioned he liked the color upon her skin. His kiss goodbye on her cheek felt like sunshine and peppermint lingered along the prickly hairs of his chin. The goodbye was gaining a friend, one she cherished and was glad to keep.

_Friends_ indeed, seeing as he was with Rose now. The two had been courting since his return and he was even supposed to be escorting her to the wedding. _Tick…Tick.._ Loud bangs on the grandfather clock was alerting Mary to the fact she only had so much more time, her last moments before becoming another man's wife.

Saying goodbye to Charles was far from easy, it felt comparable to the pain she suffered when Matthew left for the war. His anguish over hearing her marriage to Evelyn mirrored her own suffering that was brewing in heart. It was funny how much they had despised each other at first, the intensity stemming from the same personal attributes in both of them. Charles left that day from Grantham house and they hadn't spoken since, all she had of the man she had grown to cherish was her memories.

There had been days out to museums as well as teaching each other new hobbies. Charles wasn't too handy at riding but with Mary's skills he mastered it. George babbled his first words to them as he took the time to read the tot a book before naptime, the moment special and a secret to them both. Mary could feel the ache in her chest being filled when watching George spend time with Mr. Blake.

She had been the one he came to when his future was snatched away, the estate and land he was going to inherit ripped away. A rough hand clasped smooth and two worlds combined in a fiery promise. Mary whispered nothing would change between them because of it but it was all lies, even if at the moment it hadn't been. If only she would have kissed him that day, no matter how improper. If only she would have stuck to her word and not let it change anything.

Here she was though, marrying Evelyn; doing exactly what her mum and grandmother wanted.

Daisy's lay resting in a bouquet in front of her as Mary reached to pick them up, standing straight and examining herself in the mirror. Everything was different than her first wedding; it was the only thing she had asked for. Short Ivory ripples danced snuggly around her waist, only showing the proper amount of skin. "M'Lady?" Anna's voice vibrated around the bedroom as she poked her head around the door without a knock, ripping Mary from her thoughts.

"Oh Anna, I was just coming. I suppose Tom is having to calm Pa for how late I' am." Anna's face shifted as she glanced over her should before whispering. "It's not that, you have a visitor who is adamant on seeing you now."

A visitor? Now? Mary couldn't imagine who could be here and not taking no as an answer. Confusion washed over them both as Mary placed the bouquet back down. "Who in heavens name?"

"It's me," a deep voice answered as Charles stepped into the room, his eyes soaking in every detail of Mary in her dress. Anna shut the door behind her and the room began to spin, Mary's heart clutching in ways she couldn't imagine. They had not spoken and now he was here and the baggage between them had been cut open.


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own these characters but I certainly enjoy them. Thank you for the comments about the first chapter, hope you enjoy the ride Mary will be taking.**

Waiting for Anna to shut the door so Mary could speak to Charles felt like it was taking an eternity. Once the latch clicked it felt like the huge estate was closing in around her. The solitude of her room felt small in comparison to usual space it held. Charles stood with his cap in his hands, worried lines straight along his eyes as the familiar scent of rain and sandalwood coated them both. It was one of the scents she found most comforting in the world, after George being fresh from a bath. If she closed her caramel orbs she could be wrapped in his presence like a blanket, content for the first time in so long; she can't though. In just a few moments she would be downstairs with the others, taking the hand of another man and not the one in front of her now.

"Charles." His name fell from Mary's lips so smooth, like a prayer whispered every night to deaf ears.

"You can't marry him," Charles answered as he stepped forward, the thump of his shoes the only sound echoing. He had stayed away for months now, his last words angry and now this. Stubbornness and excitement flowed together in a combustible manner as Mary grasped her bouquet tighter. It would be a lie if she thought she didn't want this but it was also awful timing. _You mustn't let on to how you feel; _she could hear the voice singing to her in her mind_._

"Charles. You refrain from speaking to me even when I wrote and now you come here at this time and tell me what I can and cannot do? If granny were privy to this conversation she would be calling you mad." That was it; she could tell him how he hurt her as well. Silence filled the room again as Charles stepped forward once more, the space between them shrinking. Mary couldn't help but notice him wince as she gulped, his eyes tired and charming; if only she could drop the bouquet and smooth the creases along his eyes away with her gentle fingers.

"I was being a coward and masking it with good intentions. I kept telling myself to be the better man, that Evelyn is a fine chap and he is but... I can't. I don't want to be the better man." Words and hand motions came spewing from Charles now, two hearts beating furiously at the admission as Mary finally placed the flowers down while never breaking eye contact. "I simply want you _and _George. Have me Mary, we can leave until things calm and come back to Downton if it's what you want. If not we can travel and show George the world."

_You and George._ The words hit Mary like a ton of bricks, a small smile playing along her lips. After Matthew passed she never thought it was possible to find someone who could see the kindness in her like Matthew but Charles did. He also saw how stubborn she could be and remembered how much she despised the smell of cigar smoke. Most importantly he cared for George like Matthew would have; it shook her in the hardest way that someone else really did care.

Charles began to fidget, his hands tossing like waves wanting to pull them both to shore. It was something she had noticed he shared with Evelyn, they both would twitch when nervous or deep in conversation. One would be who would hold her heart and one would be her husband, even though it would be torture. Mary needed to reach and grasp Charles hands, to calm the nerves in both of them and for that last piece of contact. It was like two fires building as their rough and smooth skin combined, Mary sliding her dainty fingers along Charles with a gasp from both. It was obvious the difference in them both but beautiful all the same. Mary made note of how polished her hand seemed along his, the hands of a man who wasn't afraid to work for what he had in life and who made George giggle with shadow animals.

"I don't know what to say." As soon as the words were muttered, Mary wished she had something else. She had used the same phrase when he last proposed to her in the study at Grantham house and she could see the same hurt in Charles eyes now.

It had been raining out, god how fitting it had been for what she was going to say. _Get it done quickly,_ the phrase kept running through her mind but it was impossible. He knew what was coming but they both kept putting it off. "You know I have to marry him." "I never knew Mary Crawley to do anything she didn't want to do." Charles was trying to play it off but worry lay out on his face like an open book. "Am I to beg you to reconsider? I thought things were splendid with us, with the courting and with the getting to know you and George. Dare I say I love you Mary? Would that change this?"

He had spoken how he loved her with such fire and truth that it mirrored Matthew's testament over shared sandwiches and wine. Would there be a day when she didn't compare everything to her late husband or think of how it would make him feel? Matthew would tell her to listen to what her heart is saying but that wouldn't be smart. Crawley women needed to make their lives based on many factors and sadly the heart was not one of them.

"I want you to say you want the same," Charles spoke, his voice deep and filled with worry; worry that Mary would once again deny them both. His thumb brushed along her hand slowly, tracing the lines of her palm and making her heart race.

The room shifted once again as Mary shuffled forward, the fabric of her ankle length wedding dress crashing against the tweed of Charles suit as their lips crashed together. Neither could think as the scotch along his bottom lip mixed with the urgency Mary already felt. The kiss had been brewing like a maddening storm and now it was swirling to consume them. Gentle hands moved along Charles hair, tugging as his rough ones dared to brush her hip.

She needed to stop it, everything was going the opposite of how it was supposed to but Mary wanted it. Her body was reacting in hunger and want and for once she felt in control, she _needed _the control. Maybe that's why she had gravitated to him in the first place, ever since the met he had challenged Mary and made her stand up for what she wanted and believed in. This was to show him she did want what he wanted, even if never came to be. Words were useless but actions spoke more than she could ever say.

_Tap…Tap._ Two quick raps at the door registered as Charles and Mary looked up; the quiet noise uncharacteristically loud and meeting the beat of their hearts. Surely whoever was at the door would notice the crinkle in her dress now and how flushed the tip of Charles nose was, his hand tugging the coat of his suit down. It was all too much now and Mary couldn't think straight as her mind only wanted to focus on the ruffled dark curls of the man in front of her; caused from her own hands. Her lips burned and the faint taste of scotch lingered like an ice-cream on a warm day.

"Apologies M'lady, its time," Anna chirped, her expression almost giddy as she peaked her head in. Mary felt relief wash over her body, shutting her eyes quickly. "I'm coming right down, let them know." She could feel Charles move beside her, his hands reaching out to place the bouquet of daisies back in her own hands. The act stung them both and made Mary feel faint, how did they go from a minute ago to now.

"I will do," Anna nodded before dashing away, leaving the door only slightly closed this time.

Mary needed to compose herself, to push everything back into their neatly placed boxes in her heart. The sound of both their heavy breathing filled the room, tension clinging to their skin like clothes. She hated herself for what she was about to do and say, how many times would she make this mistake? An image of the garden party when Matthew left before the war flashed in her mind, she always was so stubborn.

"I have to marry him, the scandal if I didn't would be grander than the one I faced with Richard." There it was, protecting the family above everything. The papers and her father's friends would speak about Mary leaving Evelyn for the rest of their lives. Of how a used widow left an honorable man to run away with one who didn't even hold an estate.

The look that crumpled Charles face was written as clear as in a dictionary; anguish. He turned away to face the door, placing his cap back on his wavy hair. Neither Charles nor Mary needed to see each other to know the pain that was happening, the cracks forming again. "Then you know I cannot stay to watch this."

"Please Charles," Mary's voice quivered, her hands shaking. There had to be some way to fix this all, to make it all work. Sybil would have known the advice to give her; she wished her sister was here now. Death had taken her and Matthew though, it always felt like the people she loved was leaving and that's why she needed to protect George so much.

"No Mary. You know I love you but this is what you have chosen, not myself." Charles turned his head to look over his shoulder once more, their eyes meeting with so many unsaid thoughts.

He was gone before Mary could respond, his defeated frame vanishing from her site and out the door. So here she was alone again, bouquet in hand and her chest thumping widely. Mary had learned to never cry in front of others, the sign of weakness always hidden but now a tear couldn't help but escape her eye. She had only truly ever cried over Matthew and now Charles, her heart was broken beyond repair.

_You need to stop, it's time._ Mary's mind yelled as she moved to the door, pausing to look in the mirror across the room one last time. The reflection was beautiful but empty, it wasn't one she enjoyed.


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own these characters but I certainly enjoy them. Thank you for the reviews and taking the time to read this so far. When I started I had one thing in mind for the adventure these characters would go on but they have taken me elsewhere.**

"Charles, wait!" Mary's voice echoed out as she sprinted out the door and down the long hall. White lace billowed out as the pale of her ankles gave forth to the urgency to just get to the man she loved. It was a rare moment to catch her being less than proper but she needed to just get to Charles, and not waste another second. He stood waiting for her, his face filled with enthusiasm and want; the depths of his eyes telling stories of wonderful days to come.

Before Mary and Charles knew it her body was wrapped around his, the weight pushing them against the wall. Fingers ached to explore each sensual detail of skin on skin, shallow breaths matching each other. She enjoyed his ruffled hair, the way the wind would sweep it into curls and his cap would push it back; right now she just wanted to explore each ripple with her hands. Charles wanted nothing more than to brush his warm lips along the beauty marks of Mary's neck, the forbidden desire a thought to him so many times even though improper.

"I want everything you do." The sentence was so simple but filled both their hearts with joy and passion. Why did it take her so long to finally say it? After everything she had gone through she should have known there was more to life than titles and living a certain way. This right here felt right, _it felt like being sun kissed on a summer day._

* * *

Mary imagined everything going like that briefly as her limbs moved slowly down the grand staircase at Downton. She had allowed herself to get caught up in the fantasy in her head until she absolutely had to face the situation in front of her now. Here she was again, these steps heavy with memories and what ifs.

Her dress had been designed specifically the way she requested when she married Matthew, small details thrown in that she knew he would love. Walking down those golden steps had seemed a fairytale in that dress then but now it was a portal to a different life. Mary fluttered her eyes shut one last time, the voices of the men in the family alerting to her that she was about to the bottom. Once again she allowed herself to be lost for one more moment but this time with Matthew; his blonde hair flopped to one side and meeting her at the bottom, his hand wrapping around hers in a protective manner. _God Matthew how I wish you could change this all._

Three handsome men and a tiny gentleman waited at the foot of the stairs, their eyes wide and proud as Mary reached the bottom. It was nice to have Tom waiting there with George this time with her father and Carson; it just felt normal after everything they had been through together. The thought washed over her body, sending a wave of calmness in the form of Goosebumps. _You are doing what is right; just remember this is for George._

"Mama, pretty." George reached out to grab Mary with his chubby fingers, kissing her cheek with sticky lips. "Thank you but it would seem someone let you have treats before the wedding." Two perfect eyebrows lifted to smirk at Tom, calling him out as he placed his hands up as to say it wasn't him. "Sybbie!" The young boy squealed as Mary placed him down, his giggle making her smile as well as his few broken words. "Now I doubt Sybbie would do such a thing."

"That would be right Mary, Sybbie is waiting with the others," Tom piped up as he moved to take George's hand. He had been so good to her son; it seemed foreign now how her relationship with Tom had been at first. Sybil had always seen the good in people and she just wished she would have seen it sooner.

Silver caught her eye as she realized the cufflinks Tom decided the wear, the same pair Matthew had worn when they married. The sentiment made her eyes fill with tears and her heart jump quickly. "I hope you don't mind, it felt right to have him here today. He would say you are beautiful and I agree." "It's quite fine and you better stop before you have me ruining this dress." Mary hoped she didn't come off harsh but it was the only thing keeping her from losing it and she just couldn't especially with George there. She allowed her hand to reach out and brush Tom's before lingering over the cufflinks, remembering how she removed them for Matthew the night of their wedding.

"M'lady I must agree, like a blooming flower as always," Carson shifted uncomfortably, his hands crossed behind his back. He would never say different, his tough exterior broken around Mary ever since she was a small child. For once her eyes met his with gentleness, moving her hand from Tom's to his and lingering. Carson had watched her grow and now helped with George; he had picked her up on broken days and cheered her on when the sun shined brightly. "If you keep speaking like that then everyone will know you are not the stern butler you claim to be." "Let them M'lady, right now you are more important; even a man of my age knows that."

"Mary, are you ready?" Robert moved to take her arm, his own old age showing as he moved slower than usual. "As I ever will be," Mary wished she could say it with more enthusiasm but it was all she could muster. Carson moved to head back downstairs as Tom and George walked away, leaving Robert and Mary to make their own entrance. "Mary, you know I think Evelyn is a fine chap and after Matthew." "Please, let's not do this now." The conversation had to end before it sent everything crumbling, this couldn't be like when he found out about Pamuk.

* * *

Mary made note to notice everyone in the ballroom at Downton as she walked to where Evelyn was waiting. Edith looked hopeful as she sat near Cora and Violet, their faces full of excitement. Her heart ached as she found Isobel near them, clutching a handkerchief from Doctor Clarkson. She had never been close to the woman until Matthew passed but lately she had been a blessing. The thought of losing George terrified Mary so she couldn't imagine what the older woman was feeling now. _Don't worry, not a day passes when Matthew doesn't cross my mind; _Mary hoped Isobel knew that and could sense she missed him just as much even now.

Tom sat with Sybbie and George, his arms holding them both down as Tony and Rose rest behind them. Everyone was there and happy for her including people from the village… _almost everyone._

Evelyn stood waiting, his nervous hands fidgeting as Mary finally reached him. He was a good man, she couldn't deny that and he had always been a kind friend to her. There were moments before she married Matthew that she thought he would have been the one but deep down it wasn't right. Evelyn loved her dearly and this would make him happy but he deserved better, he deserved someone who would love him back just as such. "I'm still in shock this is happening." His eyes lifted in a smile as he whispered, guest filled to the brim in the house to watch the exchange. All Mary could do was smile, her cheeks flush as she glanced up under her lashes at him. In a different world it would be Charles in front of her, his tan hands resting near her pale ones. In this world she faced Evelyn though and was faced with the lingering of Charles lips on hers, a taste she never wanted to forget.

* * *

It had been three days since the wedding and Mary could finally breathe a sigh of relief that it was over. The hard decisions had been chosen and now at Downton could continue and she would face whatever would be thrown their way. Evelyn had left for work in Paris and for that she was thankful. They had opted for no honeymoon with the job offer lingering and with Mary not wanting to be from George for long. Of course it wasn't traditional but as Mary presented the idea to Evelyn she knew he would never say no or disagree to what she wanted.

He would be gone for a week, a whole week where she didn't have to pretend to feel sick at night or that George needed her. The thought of being intimate with Evelyn made her stomach swirl with fears, sending her into dry heaves. There had been no one since Matthew, though she had kissed Tony and Charles both. How could she ever have him touch her in the ways Matthew would have when she wished it was someone else.

"I'm sorry Mary, but George keeps babbling to go outside." Cora cheerfully mumbled as she interrupted Mary's thoughts, sending a deep blush up her long neck. "Well it is quite nice out; I could take him for a walk and give nanny a break. Poor boy has no idea what to do now that Sybbie has started school." Mary reached to take George, already giggling as he poked his fingers along her nose. "He isn't the only one, Tom seems lost and doing more work than usual."

"Uncle!" George yelled as he picked up on the conversation, hushing both Cora and Mary up. "Let's go for a walk my boy. How does that sound?" The maternal conversation came easier to Mary now than it used to. It had taken time especially after Matthew passed but now it was if her son was a part of her at all times.

George waved to Carson and Mrs. Hughes as they moved to head outside, Mary placing a large hat on her head to protect from the warm sun. His small hand grasped hers as they began the walk down the long drive, a cool breeze drifting over their bodies like a spirit saying hello. It was a perfect day, filled with the perfect rambles of her son and the warmth of a lingering kiss from a passed love one.

"Do you see that tree there Georgie? " Mary pointed to a large and lush tree at the edge of the property as George nodded. "Well your Aunt Edith once fell from it when hiding from myself and your aunt Sybil. We thought she broke her arm and tried to hide downstairs at the house so we wouldn't be punished. "Sybbie," George cried out as his tiny feet kicked rocks in front of them. "No not Sybbie, but her mum; one day you will understand."

Mary couldn't help but watch George as he tried to run ahead of her, his curly blonde hair blowing with the breeze. He looked just like Matthew, so carefree and filled with life. Sometimes it hurt her physically to look at him, his blue eyes making her heart clench in unbearable ways. There was no denying he had her nose and intensity but his calmness and shyness were all her late husbands. Would these be things that Evelyn would ever understand? Charles had always remarked about how George was growing into his own self and how he enjoyed the small chap.

Another breeze filtered through the trees, sending her skirt around as George turned in a circle to giggle. Maybe it was seeing her son so happy but she felt like sharing story after story with him now, needing him to see the history of the beautiful estate. "Your father used to ride his silly bicycle up this path all of the time before we were married. He even taught me to ride one day when we were hiding from the family." Mary smiled as she told the story, George sticking close to her now to listen with a new intensity. "It was a blue bicycle; we will have to see if we can get you one. Would you like that?" George nodded as he tugged her dress now, his way of asking to be picked up.

She knew he needed to walk but wouldn't pass up the time to carry him while he wanted now plus they had neared Grantham house and it would be safer. Mary's eyes instantly fell on a familiar motor vehicle as she bent to pick up George, his tiny face turning to see what she had spotted as well. It took a moment for her body to respond, freezing up as a lump formed in her throat. The weight of George became ten times more than usual as his feet kicked in excitement, "Blakey!"

Yes it was his Blakey, her Charles and she wanted to know what he was doing there.


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own these characters but I certainly enjoy them. Thank you once again for the reviews and comments and just taking the time to read. I will be heading out on vacation this weekend so the next update may take a while. Hope you enjoy! **

* * *

Mary could feel her palms getting sweaty as she picked George up, his babbles about Charles ringing in her ears nonstop. She didn't know if she wanted to turn right back around and go back to the main house or stay, and risk the chance of seeing him. "BLAKEYYYYYYY," George screamed as he pointed his small chubby finger out. No matter what her heart was saying, her son was telling her another thing.

He had left after that kiss, a kiss that shouldn't have happened but felt magical. Mary's chest thumped as she thought of seeing him, of the heartbreak and if she could stay composed. Why on earth would he show up here? Even if it was Grantham house, why would he risk what was unraveling in front of them. "Go, mum," George spoke calmly now as his hand grasped Mary's tender cheek. The actions reminded her of something Matthew used to do when soothing her, his blue eyes always communicating hidden messages between just them. "Fine but just for a few moments, we have to get you back in time to play with Sybbie."

She let her son slide to his tiny feet as he tried to run to the house, quickly staying behind as best as she could. As the house approached all her nerves decided to let loose, butterflies creating havoc in her stomach and heart. She should have just told George no, he would have been mad but nothing he wouldn't forget later in the day. Could she really face Charles now? Could they be adult enough to stand in front of each other and speak with everything still between them? Part of her was still angry as well that he just left, even though she was giving herself to someone else.

Before she could stop him, George was running inside with his wobbly feet. He tried so much to be independent and often Mary wished it was like before he learned to walk on his own. It panged her to think that one day her son wouldn't need her as well, leaving her like Matthew did. "George you must wait," Mary yelled as the staff looked up.

"My apologies." Mary could only smile at her grandmother's butler as his eyes went wide before softening. "It's quite fine M'lady, we know how mister George enjoys his running." "That he does, please do not let us interrupt your work." Mary nodded courtly before stepping towards the other voices in the house, the melody drifting to her like music played by the notes of George and Charles laughing together.

_Five steps_ would be all it took to turn the corner to see them and in the five steps she needed to compose herself. Mary brushed her hand up to push her wind swept hair back, small tendrils drifting along her ears. Let's hope I least look presentable she thought as she moved her hand now to press her dress down, feeling how warm the fabric still was from the sun. _Four steps.._ Mary breathed in and out to calm the butterflies in her chest and stomach. _Three steps and two steps_.. A smile drifted along her tight lips, preparing to face them with everything she could master. _One step.._ and she was there; in the room facing her shocked grandmother and son with Charles.

It had taken many years to perfect her card playing face but Mary hosted one now, her eyes setting on Charles but not showing any emotion. She wouldn't be that weak or let on to the Dowager that anything was out of sorts.

George stretched his little arms out for Charles to pick him up, his pants bunching at the legs. "Well hello there little chap, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" Mary's could feel her heart leap from her chest at the sight in front of her, the carefree nature and love of her son making the hair on her arms stand. "Blakey, Blakey," he babbled as Charles laughed, the lines around his eyes wrinkling. "Yes Blakey, thought one day you must learn my name properly."

Violet scoffed then, tapping her cane somewhat as George diverted his gaze to give her a dimpled smile. "He is already more brilliant than most Americans who migrate here." "Grandmamma!" Mary couldn't help but laugh as she spoke out, her son giggling as well. The dowager only shook her head, watching Charles carefully with George before looking to Mary.

"We were just taking a walk when George saw Mr. Blake's car and wouldn't stop rambling." Mary clasped her hands together as she explained why they were there. She didn't want them to think it was because of her, she especially didn't want him to think it was that. Her grandmother lifted an eyebrow while examining her; Mary could feel her skin on fire at the thought. Did she have any idea about the problems that still lay between her and their visitor?

"Walk!" George began to talk again, his energy non-stop as he wiggled in Charles arms. "You want down now?" He grinned at the small boy before placing his feet snug on the ground before ruffling his wavy blonde curls.

"I was just finishing up the report and filling your grandmother in on my family, it seems she is old friends with my mother." Charles shifted almost nervously, clasping his hands behind his back. Mary wondered how Violet knew his mum and what set him on edge about it. "As long as Downton is fine I have no cares, I told him he should have spoken to you and Robert about this but since Robert is gone." "I thought Mary would be busy with Evelyn as well, seeing as they are newlyweds." Charles interrupted, gulping hard at the implication of the words.

He had been thinking about her, it was obvious even if it was about how she was now married to another man. Mary couldn't help but feel relieved that he still thought of her, silence lingering in the air after comment. Charles turned to watch George near his legs, his face hiding so many things. It was killing him to have Mary here, returning the report to Violet had been his way to not see her but now..

"Blakey, come walk," George looked up to tug his tweed pants leg, his blue orbs pleading for Charles to come with them. "Come!" Mary didn't want to speak to Charles and break the protective blanket that was covering them right now but she knew what her son really wanted. "I think he wants you to join us on the walk back home." On cue, George started nodding and rambling even louder.

"Well little chap" Charles began to speak as he looked down at the young boy. He couldn't help but see Mary in him even though all of the Crawley family swore he looked like Matthew. All he could see was the curve of Mary's nose and the intensity of life in his eyes just as he saw in her. "Before you think of saying no I would suggest you go Mr. Blake, I must be going to meet Lady Hampshire for tea anyway. She needs a new maid and is asking for suggestions," Violet interrupted as she gripped her cane to stand.

Charles knew he had no choice but to go now, though it thrilled him it scared it all the same. What would he say to Mary when they finally were alone? Would he apologize for how left and for the kiss? Or would both their pride get the best of them.

"I guess that is a yes George, I will accompany you and your mother back to the house." Charles began to nervously brush his palms together as he looked around to judge how Mary would take it, her own face giving nothing away. All was lost to the young boy in front of them though as he sat up quickly before falling to him bum, excited that his Blakey was going to walk with them. "We should be going then; George always waits for Sybbie to return home from school at this time." Mary dared to look at Charles now, his eyes searching for hers in a silent apology.

She could feel it hit her heart, just the small glance and she was beginning to unravel. Why did he have such a hold over her? Couldn't she just stay angry and living the life she had choose. Matthew was the same way with her, his blue eyes would drift her way and her stomach would clench. It was strange to think she had two men in her life now that made her feel so bizarre but swell.

"Grandmamma, we will be seeing you at the house for dinner tomorrow? " Mary asked, her eye focusing on George pulling Charles towards the door. "Yes and do me a favor my Dear, tell her I will be calling earlier to speak to her about something." "Oh?" "Oh just silly village gossip," the Dowager waved her cane as she readied to leave as well. Mary had a feeling it was really going to be about her, they were always meeting to speak about her life and what decision she needed to make.

The laughter of George and Charles stomping outside made her head spin fast, quickly pressing her lips together to follow. Her son was tiny but stout and she let out a laugh as she watched him pull Charles by his hand, the man bent over and pretending to drag his feet. It was impossible not to feel warm at the sight of them, of how well they got along. Mary wondered if this is what it would have been like if Matthew was still alive, would they take walks together and laugh over jokes. Of course they would but it hurt too much to think of it and right in front of her eyes was reality, this was really happening.

Evening air began to settle on them as they walked down the dusty road back to Downton. Mary made note of how tan Charles seemed since the wedding, he must have been outside a lot; his olive skin paring well with the waves of his chocolate curls. Of course he has probably been spending the days out on his new farmland, fending to the animals he had taught her so much about.

A giggle from George brought her back to the moment as he chased after a butterfly, his Blakey right on his heels. "Be careful, you don't want to scare him or he will tell his friends not to come play. Butterflies are to be seen and not touched, a lot like other things in this world." His rugged hands reached to pull George up, tossing him in the air with ease before catching him. "You can fly like the butterfly, see?" "Again!" the young tot mumbled as he dipped his head back.

Mary could feel the air leaving her chest again, the image in front of her leaving her momentarily paralyzed. She had read many poems on happiness but this was what happiness really was, a warm day with her son and his laughter dancing along her skin.

_Happiness,_ it was such a foreign and wrong feeling. It bothered Mary to feel as happy as she did with Evelyn so far away and it bothered her that it upset her for all the wrong reasons. He was Charles good friend after working together for so long and he had always been so dear to her. This happiness and content was something she should feel with him as well but it wasn't. It wasn't as if she was _un-happy_ when around Evelyn but she could tell the difference and he deserved better.

"Does my husband know you are here on business? I wouldn't imagine so seeing as he is in France working himself." Mary looked ahead as she asked, not looking at Charles and George now. The words stung Charles as he placed George down, letting him run ahead now. The rational part of his mind told him that he had no right be angry at the words but yet he was and they hurt. It hurt worse than losing everything and having to build his way back to where he was.

"No he doesn't." Mary could notice the tone in Charles voice go serious. "I wanted to not bother either of you but the report needed to be dropped off." Charles still felt angry, almost bitter as he watched George kick a rock in front of them before picking it up. "You look radiant as always Mary, perhaps marriage agrees with you." He hated himself for saying it as soon as it left his lips, surely Mary would cut him with her famous glare now.

Instead a comfortable silence fell between them, their eyes focused on the little boy ahead of them. The words had hurt Mary but she wasn't prepared to hash this out now, not on this road.

"Mary," Charles began to speak, his thought cut off by a simple touch on his arm by Mary. "Not now, let's discuss this later once George is not around." All he could do was nod, the patch of his arm tingling where Mary just touched him. He ached to have any excuse for her to do it again, to feel the closeness but her eyes simply rested ahead, ignoring him. She wasn't really though, every so often glancing from the corner of her eye.

The rest of the walk was filled with silence between the laughter of George and Charles playing. Mary took the steps slowly, preparing herself for the storm that would hit them later, when the two of them would have to talk.

* * *

George didn't even make it half an hour after returning to the house before falling asleep. Mary knew he must be exhausted, his eyes drifting off after a day of adventure. Usually they would wait in the kitchen for Sybbie with something sweet but today she would have to play without him. She offered to take him up to his bed instead of nanny, nearly begging so she would have extra time to prepare for her talk with Charles.

Everything made sense in the nursery, their own private world as she stood watching George sleep peacefully. His lips would pucker out as he dozed off and it reminded of her how Matthew would rest, his face always calm. She needed to leave their world though and speak to Charles, it wasn't right to leave him. 'Rest my boy," Mary whispered as she shut the door, clenching her fist to regain composure. She could do this, after this talk they could move on with their lives.

Mary took two steps before she could hear a sweet melody began to drift through the grand halls, a sad but beautiful set of notes pulling on her heart. "Heavens someone is playing," she whispered to herself. The notes began to pick up pace as she moved to the lush room where the piano rest, knowing already who would be playing before she even got there. The song made her heart weak; it was his way of speaking to her.

She could see his back as her feet stepped into the room quietly, not daring move to interrupt. His head tilted back as he played and she could imagine that his eyes were closed, each note smoothly coming from the ivory keys. Everything she had been over thinking and feeling was drifting from her mind, lost with each cord. Charles had never mentioned the fact that he could play to her, the hidden talent actually making her smile.

The song changed again, starting off low and Mary decided to step closer. It was familiar to her, striking a place deep in her stomach and filling it with need. A memory flashed in her mind of dancing the night away with Charles, their feet clumsy and playful before the sun rising. Yes he was playing this song for her, speaking to her in a different way than what she was used to.

Charles could feel the atmosphere change as he played, the presence of someone else entering the room making his hands slip. He didn't have to turn to see if it was her, instead he could hear the gentle breathing from her chest. Picking up on Mary's presence was something he had learned to do while working on the estate together. Often she would enter a room just to observe but it always caught him off guard, just like now. He couldn't continue to play with her standing there, things heavy between them.

"I should apologize," Charles finally spoke as he looked down to his hands resting on the old piano keys. "For so many things." The words had been sitting in his head since their walk but were now lumping together in his throat. "We both should be," Mary needed to say something before she became too scared and decided to turn around and leave. Her knees were becoming heavy as she searched to look out the window, needing the peace the oncoming night sky would bring. "This is all complicated." The soft words hung in the air like a poem, one of star crossed lovers and heartbreak.

It would be easy for Charles to keep his hands on the piano and his eyes looking down but he needed to see Mary's face, to search for what she was really saying. "It's especially complicated because of the kiss and because you married him even though your heart knows it wanted different." Mary couldn't hide it anymore as she gulped, her eyes dropping to look at Charles as he glared back. She was angry he brought it back up; she was married now and to his friend. They just needed to move past this and start new even if it hurt them. The hurt was worth more than losing him like she thought she was going to.

"I'm not being a gentleman by bringing it up and by bothering you but I was never much for formalities was I? Evelyn is my dear friend and I care for George as much as I love you. Perhaps this should be our goodbye, a peaceful one. I can rest easy if you promise me he is what you truly want but if not then how can I? Every day I think of you Mary, I wonder what you are doing or what book you are reading to George. "Charles was rambling now, his face serious as he looked at Mary intensely. He needed her to just know everything he was feeling, to realize that no matter what he would hold on and be there unless she truly didn't want it. "You are married to him I know but I can tell your heart doesn't agree."

"And I wouldn't be a lady if I admitted to anything other than being faithful to my marriage with Evelyn. When we make choices in life we must stick with them. You know how I feel, take that as you want." Mary looked to his eyes to plead, giving the okay to not give up though she said different. It was wrong but after watching Charles with George she couldn't risk losing him even as a friend, they had lost enough in their life. All of the anger she felt was shadowed by her need to keep calm and keep her pride.

"I see," Charles whispered as he turned to place his hands back on the cool ivory keys. Silence filled the room, invading the space between them and laced with tension so thick it could smother. Mary watched as Charles began to scoot to one side of the bench, looking up with a gentle smile. "Come sit here with me Mary." It was a plea for her to join him and she wondered if she should, her body moving slowly to join him. _Just keep your composure,_ Mary thought as she crossed her ankles away from Charles.

He could feel how close they were now, the floral scent of Mary tickling his nose in a pleasant way. If he tuned just right their legs would touch, the intimate thought enough to make Charles face go red. Oh how he craved for just the simplest of moments with Mary.

There had to be something he could do to turn this conversation around, to make things right between them. "Can you play?" Charles asked with hesitation, the question coming out of nowhere to Mary but she was glad for it. "No, we were taught to play violin when younger but never piano." It was something she always enjoyed to hear but never had the time to invest into.

"I can teach you, or at least try just this song?" He was asking her to share in something he enjoyed and there was no way she could deny that. "Fine but I will play horribly," Mary teased as she placed her dainty fingers on the keys next to his. "You mean like how you play cards when others are not around? " Charles could throw back what she was giving, making Mary laugh before blushing. The distraction was what they both needed, forgetting everything that had happened between them in the last year.

Mary shifted her hands closer to Charles, the light brush enough to send him mad as he imagined all the places her hands could go. The simple brush was the equivalent of a thousand kisses and he wasn't sure if he could pretend to never have felt it before. Heat flared along his neck as shook it off, stretching his leg to be close to her ankles as well.

"Okay, let's start with this." Charles slowly played two notes for Mary, his fingers stretching to hit each key in harmony. "Now you can try with my help." Mary gulped as his large hands covered hers, nervousness hitting her stomach as she realized just how close they were now. Perhaps she should go or pretend George needed her? Mary thought of different ways to run but instead stayed quiet, letting Charles guide her hands over the keys to play two notes.

Music began to vibrate around them again as their fingers moved together, slow at first but then with passion. The melody was enough to make Mary smile, feeling pleased with what she was learning. "You see how these keys work? They play beautiful music when pressed together but complicated when apart." Charles looked up to make his comment known, his teaching turning into something different.

Something about the words made Mary feel like he wasn't only speaking about the piano or the music. She could feel herself getting hotter, the contact of their skin sending warmth along her stomach. Maybe it was because of how close he was and the familiar scent of his cinnamon skin but all she could focus on was the way his lips had tasted on hers before the wedding and how smooth his words were coming off now.

The music was becoming louder and quicker around the room as the fluency of their hands moving together became easier. It was amazing to Mary that she had never played but her she was making beautiful noise with the help of Charles.

"If you move your fingers here," he was teaching her again, moving both their hands across the piano to a new set of keys. "The whole tempo changes and so does the piece of music but maybe it changes for the better." Mary knew he was speaking about more than just the music now, his thumb brushing over her hand. He didn't realize that she just couldn't change the key now; she was married and had chosen that.

"Life can always be changed such as this piece of music," Charles dared to look at Mary now. He wasn't caring to hide behind metaphors but wanted her to know what he was meaning. "It's not that easy, some pieces of music are not ready to be recomposed, they need time to slowly morph." Mary was meeting his words now, their eyes locked and bodies gravitating towards each other.

"Well heavens, what a surprise!" Cora paused at the door, her eyes falling on Mary and then Charles. The new voice surprised them both, causing them to jump back. Mary wondered just how much her mother had saw and what she would say. She was of course alone with a man that wasn't her husband and her cheeks were flushed. The look Cora gave her next was enough of an answer as she moved to stand.

* * *

_Don't kill me for leaving it off there, please._


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own these characters but I certainly enjoy them. Thank you once again for the reviews and comments and just taking the time to read. I finally got home from vacation and these characters were screaming in my head. Hope you enjoy the chapter. **

* * *

"Mr. Blake is just here on business," Mary chirped as she moved from the small stool they had been sharing just seconds ago. She needed to place as much distance between them as possible as she slowly shuffled a few feet away, never breaking her gaze with her mother. "Indeed, I had been visiting with the Dowager when Mary and George showed up and I was just escorting them back." Charles began to fidget with his hat now, the situation slightly uncomfortable as Cora glanced back and forth, her hands clasping as a bright smile crept along the thin lines of her lips. "I can see." The words were short and simple but Mary knew they were filled with much more, her neck flared bright red in embarrassment and out along her arms as she dared to step forward once more.

Voices muffled in Charles ear as he stood smiling back at Cora, the creases around his eyes scrunching up as his thoughts drifted to the fact they had been in this position before. It was before Mary had made any choice, when things still mixed grey and were not just black and white. He had lost everything he thought would be his, the estate in Ireland and the money that would come with it. His uncle had left the inheritance to one of his daughters after a law change but that didn't bother him. No, he had worked many years and acquired his own fortune and estate but the title that would have come with it would have mattered to Mary.

That night he had ended up on the steps of Downton, rain beating down along his shoulders and Mary welcoming in with a warm smile. He could remember how she lead him to the library with a fresh fire blazing, the logs crackling and filling the space around them with a crisp aroma that almost reminded him of Christmas. "The others are retired for the night so we must be quiet," Mary's voice was nearly silent but the sweet gesture wasn't lost.

She had promised that night that it wouldn't change anything; so many people they knew had lost everything they had. "Charles, you mustn't think this the end of the line. Surely if the farmers in the village can come back then so can you." Mary rested back as she finished her comment, the color of her skin flush against the purple of her dress. "That isn't why I am upset. You see, I understand that in your world and this family that position holds a great deal. If I cannot give you that, and for George to be raised with no promise then where does that leave us?" He didn't want to give up, not now but it felt like everything needed to be said.

Charles knew it was probably way too many glasses of rich wine and the comfort of the fire that lead to Mary moving to his side, her hands grasping his face in a kiss. It was the first and he wanted to fight for it to never end; storing away each line of her cheeks, the fruity taste of her lips and the overwhelming scent of a honey wash along Mary's neck. He had imagined so many times would it would be like to finally give in to the forbidden fruit, seeking each other for comfort but now it was almost too much.

In an instant the doors were opened and Cora appeared, sending them apart just like now. That woman had a great way of timing her entrances.

"Well I was just coming to let you that Tom is back with Sybbie. Seems she had an exciting day and keeps babbling to tell you." Cora slowly unclasped her hands before looking at Mary, this time her expression changing at the mention of the young girl. Sybbie had a way of changing the atmosphere in the grand home just like Sybil had when they were growing up. "Oh? I must see what it is; I am surprised she isn't asking for her Georgie." Mary couldn't help but smile then, thinking of how close her son and his Sybbie were; they were more like siblings than cousins.

A deep cough from Charles echoed slowly as Cora turned to face him now, keeping the energetic smile plastered along her face. "Mr. Blake, am I to assume you are staying for dinner? I don't think I can take no as an answer." Mary couldn't believe her mother was doing this now, what was she playing at?

Her eyes quickly darted to look at Charles now, not needing to even ask how he feels but instantly knowing from the fidget of his hands and the crinkle of his forehead. It was almost like the room shifted as his dark eyes caught her glance, silently exchanging apologies. "Of course I will stay Lady Grantham, how could I miss a delicious meal by your cook." His eyes wrinkled now and Mary couldn't help but get lost in the lines briefly, forgetting the situation at hand. Warmth spread along her limbs as she thought of how defined his smile would be when alone, his face tan from working along the farmers.

"Then it is settled, I should inform Carson before he has a fit. Mary, would you please join me?" The suggestion from her mother was more of a command as Cora turned her attention back to Mary. "I should and check on nanny and George as well. Mr. Blake do you think you can find yourself well?" She secretly just wanted the chance to turn to him again, this man who wasn't her husband but held so much of her attention. "Ahh yes, in fact I want to speak to Tom and catch up. If you two will excuse me." Charles quickly smiled at Cora before letting his gaze linger to Mary, his chest thumping wildly before leaving the room. If the others could hear how loud his ears were ringing then surely they would know his feelings for the oldest daughter.

Mary could feel the air slip from around her as she stood alone with her mother now, almost aching for Charles to walk back in. She didn't particularly care to be in this situation now and the idea of passing it off as silly felt strongly wise. Cora quickly walked to shut the door behind Charles, waiting for the sound of his steps to disappear before turning to Mary.

For the first time the eldest daughter really took the site of her mother in, the fragile posture of her body and the lovely worry on her eyes. "Mary, you must be careful now. You are a married woman again, and not to mention to someone who is very kind to you." Cora was whispering but Mary didn't care to be polite, the words had angered her in a way. "If you have forgotten mama, I have been married before to a kind man so I know very well how to behave." Venom could have left a less painful sting as Mary clenched her hands, trying to regain her composure. Matthew, _god Matthew_. If only things could have went differently and he was here now.

"Mother it was nothing," Mary was changing the subject now, not wanting to linger on the painful. Her statement was of course a lie and her heart knew it. The goodbye's that had been spoken between her and Charles before seemed void now, a new wound being opened up by just their simple talk. It was wrong, considering her marriage to Evelyn but she was drawn to the fire, craved to be wrapped in the warmth of the embers. Why couldn't she just be happy? Most women would be fine with the life she had been handed but it wasn't enough and for that she blamed Matthew. He had always told her she could live the way she wanted, to never apologize.

"You say that Mary but I know you very well. All I ask is you be careful, if not for your sake then for George," Cora shifted near the door as her words still bounced like a whisper. She truly did worry for her daughter; she never wanted to see her go back to the way she was after Matthew passed. It had been like watching a ghost move through the large home, tending to its child before drifting off into silence again.

"I know Charles means," Mary quickly moved to interrupt her mother, placing her hand up. "Please let's not, this isn't the time to discuss this." Silence drifted along the pair again as they moved to go fetch Carson, Mary staying behind her mother with a silent but contemplative look on her face. The night would certainly be interesting.

* * *

Charles was thankful for the brief moment alone to clear his head, shaking the confrontation with Cora and Mary off. He usually found himself to be a rational man but that always went out the door when it concerned her. It had always been this way between them, the arguing when they first met and the pigs along with the mild banter at the art museum; days spent bickering over the Crawley land and nights speaking their thoughts about books they loved and loathed. Evelyn had warned him but he never listened and now… He was the one married to the woman of both their eyes and hearts.

"Da, you hold horse," Sybbie's cheerful voice rang out along the corridor, catching Charles attention as he slowed to peak in. It humored him to see Tom on the floor, his daughter tossing a small village of wooden animals his way as she pretended to be rescuing them all. A deep chuckle erupted from his chest as he stood watching, the noise catching everyone off guard as the two looked up in surprise.

"Well, well look who it is,' Tom slowly moved to his feet before making his way to shake Charles hand. He admired how the Irishman had worked to make his life now, the years showing in his movements and the adoration for his daughter glowing as he would look to check on her. Mary had once told him how Tom came to be a part of the family, the trouble that rumbled from it and how he had changed.

"I could say the same for you, it seems you have become a stable in my absence," Charles chuckled as Tom practically glowed. "How have you been?" His eyes quickly moved from the man to Sybbie, her small hands scooping up the handful of toys before tossing them again. "Great, you see things have been flourishing around here. Sybbie started school and seems to be enjoying it. That must be her other in her." He noticed the quick lift of Tom's lips as he mentioned his late wife, her absence still plaguing him even now after the years. How remarkable it must have felt to have given himself to someone so completely like Tom had even when the world battled to keep them apart.

"How have you been? With everything." Before Charles could answer the small girl appeared at his feet, lifting her hand up to show him a toy pig. It was one he had given her and George as gifts, the wooden toy hade made from an old friend. "You still have this?" The sentiment shocked him silly as he handed it back, Sybbie's cheeks now glowing a bright pink. "It is one of her favorites, right along with that horse." Tom lifted the horse up now, the unique color of the mane being the reason Sybbie enjoyed it so much.

"Well I have something else you can have as long as your Pa say's it is okay." He quickly shoved his hand in his trouser pockets before pulling out a striped peppermint piece of candy. The young girl looked to Tom, her curls bouncing as she smiled in a plea. "Go on but only one or you will spoil your dinner. Nanny would have me." Sybbie hugged Charles before taking the candy and running off to the other side of the room, the two men laughing in unison at her. "If you keep on she will never let you leave," Tom remarked so only they would hear. If only he knew how much Charles didn't want to leave, staying sounded like more than he could ever wish.

"To answer your question though, I have been well. Actually found myself here because of work; was delivering the newest report." Both men turned to face each other now, letting the infectious giggle of the small girl float around them. Tom raised one eyebrow in response before crossing his arms, his shirt clenching around the rolled up sleeves. He could tell his friend was questioning how he ended up here at the main house though.

_Friends.. _The journey to get there hadn't been easy either after Tom found out about Charles past and his family in Ireland. He was the kind that Tom had despised but together they worked to help Tom's family, the act sealing a new bond between them. He had risked so much to make sure the Irishman's brother kept his land but it felt right. Mary had praised him alone after the debacle, her eyes in wonder at why he would help Tom even with the strong differences. "All men deserve a chance Mary; it's a tough enough world."

Sybbie quickly interrupted the two men again, this time her hand reaching to tug at Tom's pants leg. "Where is Georgie?" Her small face scrunched up almost in tears as she looked around the large room. "I think I can answer that," Charles moved to step closer to the young girl, smiling at her. "He is sleeping because he tired himself out waiting for you. Poor chap couldn't wait for you to arrive home." The answer was perfect as her eyes lit up again, no longer almost in tears.

"Handy you knew that, you must have been here awhile then. With Mary?" This time Tom looked more serious as he turned to Charles, their eyes meeting in a nod. "Yes, I walked her and George back from visiting the Dowager." His hands moved to his pockets, not wanting to show how nervous the topic was making him. "This isn't my place I know, but I worry for Mary," Tom was looking at him now with a serious lift of his eyes. "She is conflicted and been through a lot, so I just ask you be good to her and not make things any more difficult than they need to be." "You know like I do that Mary can handle things herself but I will do as you say. You are right, she doesn't need more difficulties." Charles gulped as he thought of everything Mary in fact had been through.

How so much had changed for Tom to be looking out for Mary, the oldest Crawley daughter like a sister to him now. He had promised Matthew in secret to protect her if anything happened and he would keep that promise.

* * *

Dinner flowed surprisingly calm bar a few playful arguments, the main instigators being Mary and Charles. Each course was more delicious than the last and without Robert in attendance the conversation stayed more on personal taste than business and the aristocracy. Mary's eyes kept dancing to Charles at the end of the table, each sharing glares and smiles for each other. When Mary would look at him it sent his body on edge, the hunger in his stomach burning but not for food but her. She had worn an airy purple dress, the shoulders showing more skin than usual with the new fashion. Each freckle he could count looked more tempting and delicious than the last.

After the meal Cora quickly found her way to Charles, touching his wrist to stop him. "Mr. Blake I hope you will stay for the night. It's awfully late to travel and we have the room." His body screamed to say yes but staying under the same house with Mary could be too tempting. The thought of seeming rude now after he had grown so close to the Crawley's made him fear turning down the offer to stay. Charles could sense Mary listening not far away, her floral scent still lingering from haven walked by.

"Of course I will stay, would be my pleasure," Charles nodded as he looked around to the others. "Splendid, Mr. Barrow will show your room but feel free to linger with others after." Thomas looked annoyed as he moved to hold his arm out, escorting Mr. Blake upstairs and to the room he would be using.

Mary quickly nodded before heading up herself, seeking her room as refuge for a few moments. With marrying Evelyn they had taken a new room together but hers still stayed, the perfect sanctuary when needing to be alone. Sweat coated her palms as she sat to brush her hair, finding anything to calm her nerves. Charles would be staying the night and Evelyn was gone, the thought scared and excited her. The thoughts flowing in her mind were improper and unladylike but for once she didn't care, no one would know them but herself.

A letter lay beside her perfume, the writing that of her husbands and Mary reached to open it.

_My Darling,_

_I received message that I should be coming back soon. I am counting the minutes till we see each other and can have a proper honeymoon. Give George my love and always know I miss you._

_-Evelyn_

Mary willed herself to make the words mean more, wishing he was the man she wanted even after the vows. He would be back soon and this day would be in the past like everything else. She had made her bed and would have to lay in it. "M'lady," Anna knocked on the door with a smile before looking in, eliciting a sigh from Mary. "Nanny has asked if you are coming to see George before bed?" "Yes of course, please tell her I will be right there." Her eye's looked in the mirror back at Anna before lifting her cheeks; her wee tot would make her happy. He always held the magic to making everything better.

* * *

"If you will follow me Mr. Blake I will take you to the others." Thomas was waiting again for Charles with a frumpy look, his eyes skimming over the man with a devious smile. "Are we going to where the children are?" He was curious as to where his presence had been requested before retiring for the night. As soon as they rounded the corridor the sound of George and Sybbie vibrated out, answering his question. "Right on que, those two are smarter than everyone else in the house." Thomas comment made Charles chuckle as he nodded before opening the door to enter. Tom stood over Sybbie as she lay for bed as Mary stood over George, the simple action making his heart stir.

"Now there are guest is, you two can rest." Giggles erupted as Mary shook her head, unable to be angry. "These two would have no word of sleep until you came to say goodnight," this time she moved to his side while speaking, their hands brushing with fire. "Even my famous silly voices wouldn't please them," Tom wrinkled his nose as he kissed Sybbie on the cheek. "I don't think I would be able to sleep with those either," Charles teased as he reached to run his rugged hands through his dark locks.

George rolled to his side, looking at everyone before babbling, "Story, story." "Georgie we have to sleep," Sybbie said sternly. "STORY." Charles couldn't help but laugh again at the tot's persistence as he moved to crouch low where he could hear. "How about I tell you a story but you must go to bed right after." Tom and Mary watched on as George nodded his small blonde head, listening intently as well as Sybbie.

His hand rested on the ground as he began to tell of a sailor, who spent days at sea while being lost. "One night he looked up to see a bright star and something told him to follow it. The next month he sailed along following the star in his huge ship "The Josephine". Eventually it lead him to an island where beautiful horses and your favorite bears live." Charles made the story as dramatic as possible, making sure not to scare the children but play on their love of magic. Mary could barely contain herself as she watched him be so gentle, enamored with the story and the small details such as using her middle name.

Two sets of peaceful snoozes alerted him to the fact that the children had finally drifted off, their faces peaceful as he moved to stand. "Looks like I know how to make people fall asleep." Charles grinned as he looked from Tom to Mary, the pair still amazed that he told the story so easily. "Most have been as awful as my voices." The men laughed quietly as they all moved to the door, trying not to wake the young ones.

"Well I should be retiring for the night as well," Tom reached to shake hands with Charles once more before nodding to Mary. "Thank you for helping put Sybbie to bed, she can be stubborn like her mother." Mary couldn't help but smile, the comment ringing so true as they all closed the door behind them. "Sybil would fight sleep as well, you are right. She used to sneak downstairs and Carson would bring her back up." "I bet all three of you were a lot to handle." Charles looked to Mary with a playful grin, the kind that shouldn't make her so weak at the knees but doing so anyway. "Goodnight," Tom nodded once more, giving Mary a warning glance before leaving the two to linger outside the door.

Charles wasn't sure what to say as they looked to each other, he just knew he didn't want the night to end yet. "I can tell you a story as well, or perhaps we can read before retiring." His hands began to fidget behind his back, worried Mary would say no but he knew instantly that wouldn't be the case. Her eyes shifted to take him in, pressing her chest out before whispering "Yes, in the library." The night was still young and they would be all alone, Charles would have to remind himself to be on his best behavior.


End file.
